Aaarrrgghhh!! Where has my time gone?? I've missed doing this so much, but am yet to find a balance that gives me half an hour to devote to it! The new job has started and I am very much in at the deep end. Haven't drowned yet, thankfully, but never say never! It's incredibly fascinating and deeply frustrating in turns. This is the first time in a month I've had a chance to really sit down and think about it, and I'm still not 100% sure it's what I want to devote my life to, but on reflection, I am enjoying it for now and I think I'm doing relatively well, all things considered. Probably can't really go into more detail here, as I read an article the other day about a professional in the same area who commented about her job on her blog and was immediately sacked. (Not that I'm doing anything secret - just all sorts of protection issues involved.) Nonetheless, it would sometimes be useful to have an impersonal arena in which to release some of the tension!
Am currently reading Scarlett Thomas's 'The End of Mr. Y". Just like Andrew Crumey's books, this has been something of an exciting discovery. In all honesty, I picked it out because of its look and feel (I know, I know...), but it is a genuinely wonderful story and the writing is exceptional; it has a real texture to it and is, in places, achingly beautiful. Unfortunately for my PhD - which is still plodding on - I have been so drawn into this book as to fail completely in the academic reading to which I should be devoting my precious free time!
Right, I really will endeavour to update far more regularly. Should be easier over the next few months, as a routine has just about been established...
Showing posts with label PhD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PhD. Show all posts
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Monday, 12 January 2009
Currently reading
When I say that I am currently reading William Goldman's The Princess Bride, what I really mean is that this is the book that goes in my handbag when I am travelling on the tube. (Isn't it funny that one always needs something to do on the tube? Preferably a silent activity, of course - wouldn't want to rock the boat! Having said that, I endured a 45 minute trip to Heathrow over the weekend listening to a young man holding two conversations - on two mobile phones - simultaneoulsy. At yelling-across-a-room pitch. If I weren't so polite, I could quite cheerfully have given him a very mean stare. Or a kick in the balls.)
Aside from The Princess Bride, I am reading several hefty tomes concerning the authority of reading in the Christian Church. This is all contributing to chapter 4 (or is it chapter 3?) of the PhD. Time appears to be running out on this quicker than I can keep up, but I still find plenty of time to surf the net, play Spider Solitaire and create new and exciting playlists in iTunes... It's not the I don't enjoy what I am doing; it's just that I cannot yet grasp a sense of the whole, and that's holding me back significantly from constructing the parts. It is the literary equivalent of vomiting everywhere, then trying to collect it into one neat (and coherent!) pile. Frankly, I'm looking forward to getting shot of it now. It would be nice to have a weekend, or an evening, when I'm not thinking, "well, really, I should be typing up those notes on the Carolingian Church..." or, "Damn, I'd really better finish Chapter 2 today". And yet it is an immense privilege to have all this time to be creative, to produce something which I care about deeply, and wish pushes me intellectually as far as possible. It has been a frightening and exhilarating experience and I'm more tired than I can say. Sod savings - I think once I have finished this, I'm going to go on holiday!
Aside from The Princess Bride, I am reading several hefty tomes concerning the authority of reading in the Christian Church. This is all contributing to chapter 4 (or is it chapter 3?) of the PhD. Time appears to be running out on this quicker than I can keep up, but I still find plenty of time to surf the net, play Spider Solitaire and create new and exciting playlists in iTunes... It's not the I don't enjoy what I am doing; it's just that I cannot yet grasp a sense of the whole, and that's holding me back significantly from constructing the parts. It is the literary equivalent of vomiting everywhere, then trying to collect it into one neat (and coherent!) pile. Frankly, I'm looking forward to getting shot of it now. It would be nice to have a weekend, or an evening, when I'm not thinking, "well, really, I should be typing up those notes on the Carolingian Church..." or, "Damn, I'd really better finish Chapter 2 today". And yet it is an immense privilege to have all this time to be creative, to produce something which I care about deeply, and wish pushes me intellectually as far as possible. It has been a frightening and exhilarating experience and I'm more tired than I can say. Sod savings - I think once I have finished this, I'm going to go on holiday!
Monday, 5 January 2009
New Year, Old Habits
Obviously I sho
uld be cracking down on the ever-growing piles of work on my desk. Instead I've decided to enter the AbeBooks Arabian Nights competition... I won't spend too long on it. Really, I won't. If I put off my next PhD chapter any longer a) my supervisor will hunt me down and demand my funding back, b) I will never get any sleep again and c) I will never ever get round to finishing the PhD and will therefore never ever get round to finding a proper job!
Christmas and New Year were lovely, despite the sense of impending doom that always accompanies January for me. Sister 2 has her birthday on Christmas Day, and brother managed to return from the wilds of the NHS in Bristol, despite still being at work at 9pm on Christmas
Eve. I received many book-related presents, which has forced me to decide two things: 1. I need more shelving space; 2. I'd really rather have a career that's focused around books and reading. I therefore spent the dregs of 2008 writing applications for work experience at various publishing houses. A heavily competitive industry, of course, and yet another industry impacted by the UK's current recessions (yes, even Mr. Brown calls it that now...). It's strange reading the headlines on the BBC news website - every day, one familiar firm or another seems to be going under. Today it was the turn of the Wedgewood brand. There is something deeply unsettling about all this - not only the loss of any kind of financial certainty, but above and beyond that, the loss of choices. For example, as a child of the New Labour education system, I currently owe the Government a rather large amount of money. It grows daily (the interest rates on the amount owed seem to be miraculously unaffected by the current climate, funnily enough...) whereas my chance of earning a wage that will cover repayments plus rent plus energy bills plus general living costs plus travel costs plus insurance and so on and so forth seem to diminish daily, limiting my choices of career and geographical location considerably. It's perhaps no surprise that the vast majority of people I know are intending to leave the country entirely. What a waste...
uld be cracking down on the ever-growing piles of work on my desk. Instead I've decided to enter the AbeBooks Arabian Nights competition... I won't spend too long on it. Really, I won't. If I put off my next PhD chapter any longer a) my supervisor will hunt me down and demand my funding back, b) I will never get any sleep again and c) I will never ever get round to finishing the PhD and will therefore never ever get round to finding a proper job!Christmas and New Year were lovely, despite the sense of impending doom that always accompanies January for me. Sister 2 has her birthday on Christmas Day, and brother managed to return from the wilds of the NHS in Bristol, despite still being at work at 9pm on Christmas
Eve. I received many book-related presents, which has forced me to decide two things: 1. I need more shelving space; 2. I'd really rather have a career that's focused around books and reading. I therefore spent the dregs of 2008 writing applications for work experience at various publishing houses. A heavily competitive industry, of course, and yet another industry impacted by the UK's current recessions (yes, even Mr. Brown calls it that now...). It's strange reading the headlines on the BBC news website - every day, one familiar firm or another seems to be going under. Today it was the turn of the Wedgewood brand. There is something deeply unsettling about all this - not only the loss of any kind of financial certainty, but above and beyond that, the loss of choices. For example, as a child of the New Labour education system, I currently owe the Government a rather large amount of money. It grows daily (the interest rates on the amount owed seem to be miraculously unaffected by the current climate, funnily enough...) whereas my chance of earning a wage that will cover repayments plus rent plus energy bills plus general living costs plus travel costs plus insurance and so on and so forth seem to diminish daily, limiting my choices of career and geographical location considerably. It's perhaps no surprise that the vast majority of people I know are intending to leave the country entirely. What a waste...
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
Chapter submitted...
Sorry for the delay - went back to parents' house for a week to house sit/buckle down to PhD work. Have finally finished a (barely) presentable draft of proposed Chapter 3 - only a short 3 months late! Supervisor responded almost immediately to organise supervision, so we shall see.
Also went to first rehearsal of play I'm involved in (I wrote one of the short stories that is being adapted). Given that it's local theatre and has a rehearsal schedule of 2 weeks before the (one and only) performance, I had been worried that it might be something of a train wreck. Luckily it was better than I had anticiptated. It still won't be great drama, but it's not a bad start.
I've been picking up several new blogs along the way. The one I most enjoy is Bookwitch. Reading it makes me want to blog more often! I've also come across several interesting articles from these blogs (e.g. the man who wants to marry a cartoon character).
Today is US election day. I don't remember any election having such a buzz before. Most people I know are pro-Obama, although some perfectly sensible people are pro-McCain. It makes me wonder to what extent the support for the Democrats is merely fashionable. Or, indeed, a reaction to Bush. I'm not sure McCain is being assessed on his own faults/merits, but rather, the experience of the last eight years of Republicanism. I'm also fairly cautious of whirlwind media savvy political campaigns that fizzle out soon after election. We'll see. Certainly change is needed - I'm just not sure what kind of change will occur. Anyway, I will be sitting up with boyfriend and housemate to see the results (something I wouldn't even do for the UK elections!)
Also went to first rehearsal of play I'm involved in (I wrote one of the short stories that is being adapted). Given that it's local theatre and has a rehearsal schedule of 2 weeks before the (one and only) performance, I had been worried that it might be something of a train wreck. Luckily it was better than I had anticiptated. It still won't be great drama, but it's not a bad start.
I've been picking up several new blogs along the way. The one I most enjoy is Bookwitch. Reading it makes me want to blog more often! I've also come across several interesting articles from these blogs (e.g. the man who wants to marry a cartoon character).
Today is US election day. I don't remember any election having such a buzz before. Most people I know are pro-Obama, although some perfectly sensible people are pro-McCain. It makes me wonder to what extent the support for the Democrats is merely fashionable. Or, indeed, a reaction to Bush. I'm not sure McCain is being assessed on his own faults/merits, but rather, the experience of the last eight years of Republicanism. I'm also fairly cautious of whirlwind media savvy political campaigns that fizzle out soon after election. We'll see. Certainly change is needed - I'm just not sure what kind of change will occur. Anyway, I will be sitting up with boyfriend and housemate to see the results (something I wouldn't even do for the UK elections!)
Monday, 20 October 2008
Weekend at home
Mum's birthday this weekend, so off home we went. In the past month, we've all four moved out, so Mum and Dad are on their own. I'm not sure they've noticed yet, but I imagine it will hit soon enough. I saw Sister 1's new house: it's beautiful - well-situated, spacious and very, very cheap. I'm jealous! Talking to her partner, I found a connection with the stories of various slightly strange authors. I've recommended Russell Hoban to him, so we'll see how he manages with that.
I'm house-sitting next weekend, as my parents go off on a half-term trip. I'm really looking forward to the space. Hopefully it will focus the mind, so that I can *finally* finish the chapter I'm working on. I think if I don't submit something to my supervisor (who I haven't seen for about 12 months) soon, I may find it difficult to complete. I'm aware that I now have less than 12 months to go (especially in terms of funding), and I'm feeling the pressure. I've found it very difficult to commit to this project; there are periods of intense frustration and dispiritedness, barely balanced by the short bursts of motivation and excitement. Funnily enough, the hardest thing at the moment is just to write. I can stare at the computer screen for hours and barely write a few hundred words. Given that I'm working in the humanities, I really should be able to manage more than this!
Obviously one of the biggest distractions is the Internet!! Unfortunately, it's also becoming one of the most important tools I have. I'd much rather be writing for fun. I keep reading stories and wishing I were writing creatively. I do try to see the PhD as creative writing of a certain genre, but it feels so much more methodical (and so much less relevant...). I've just received a box set of Roald Dahl novels. I'd been reading the short stories and had a sudden hankering after some of the first stories I remember. I was especially pleased to read "Matilda" again after so many years. It's as good as I remember! I look forward to working my way through the rest.
I'm house-sitting next weekend, as my parents go off on a half-term trip. I'm really looking forward to the space. Hopefully it will focus the mind, so that I can *finally* finish the chapter I'm working on. I think if I don't submit something to my supervisor (who I haven't seen for about 12 months) soon, I may find it difficult to complete. I'm aware that I now have less than 12 months to go (especially in terms of funding), and I'm feeling the pressure. I've found it very difficult to commit to this project; there are periods of intense frustration and dispiritedness, barely balanced by the short bursts of motivation and excitement. Funnily enough, the hardest thing at the moment is just to write. I can stare at the computer screen for hours and barely write a few hundred words. Given that I'm working in the humanities, I really should be able to manage more than this!
Obviously one of the biggest distractions is the Internet!! Unfortunately, it's also becoming one of the most important tools I have. I'd much rather be writing for fun. I keep reading stories and wishing I were writing creatively. I do try to see the PhD as creative writing of a certain genre, but it feels so much more methodical (and so much less relevant...). I've just received a box set of Roald Dahl novels. I'd been reading the short stories and had a sudden hankering after some of the first stories I remember. I was especially pleased to read "Matilda" again after so many years. It's as good as I remember! I look forward to working my way through the rest.
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